August 2014
17

I can’t tell if this is ridiculous,

Me: Hey could you move your cars around 1 on Monday? I’ll be moving out, my family is coming up, and will need the room for a van.

Them: Well I’ll be gone all day and if I park on the street I risk getting a ticket.

Them: Would you be willing to pay the ticket? If so, then yes.

Me: 

August 2014
13
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freezer-burned:

While I was waiting in line for Anthony’s autograph, the kid at the front was wearing a backpack his mom had made with a set of huge falcon wings attached. Mackie was making his normal autograph-signing chitchat, when suddenly the mom lifted the wings open to their full span and he COMPLETELY FLIPPED. Sebastian, at the adjacent table, looked over after he heard Anthony shouting and yelled “HE MAKES A BETTER FALCON THAN YOU! THE WINTER SOLDIER MIGHT FINALLY MEET HIS MATCH!”

July 2014
29
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lemmonysnippets:

My entire characterization of John Watson in-a-relationship-with-Sherlock-Holmes and how he would look at Sherlock and act in that relationship can just be summarized by:

image

July 2014
25
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lady-darkstreak:

unclewhisky:

thorkizilla:

Avengers Assemble 1x17 - Savages [x]

I WAS ALL SET TO BE MAD THAT THEY WERE MAKING THOR A BIG, DESTRUCTIVE, DUMB IDIOT.

BUT NO.

HE’S JUST AN OBNOXIOUS DICK WHO THINKS IT’S FUNNY TO CALL LIGHTNING IN THROUGH THE WINDOW TO MAKE POPCORN AND TOTALLY WRECK ALL OF TONY’S SHIT.

AND THE HULK SUGGESTING THINGS TO DO NEXT.  I LOST MY FUCKING SHIT AND I’M NOT SURE I’M EVER GETTING IT BACK NOW.

WHAT A COUPLE OF ASSHOLES.  I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

The Avengers are always the most fun when they’re acting like a dysfunctional trailer trash family that just happens to have superpowers and goes and saves the world now and then.

dysfunctional trailer trash avengers are my kind of people

July 2014
14
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lifeastoldbygingerr asked

Imagine Sam and Bucky going grocery shopping and Bucky getting excited over all of the food that he's missed out on over the years

imaginebucky:

Sam films him the entire time they’re shopping, then makes an incredibly popular youtube video called “Old Man Yells at Food”. Popular quotes include: 

"Quinoa. How the fuck do you pronounce this?" 

"Marshmallow fluff in a jar. I’ve seen everything now. What do you even put this on? It doesn’t matter, it’s going on everything." 

"Baconnaise. I can’t decide if this is the exact opposite of what I died for, or the perfect example of it." 

"I’m going to live in this cheese aisle for the rest of my life." 

"Sometimes I feel like you don’t appreciate granola properly." 

"Wait, I’m confused, is yogurt a desert now or not?" 

"It’s HOW MUCH??" 

"Everything’s ‘instant’ now, instant coffee, instant soup, instant noodles. That has to be false advertising." 

"Sam, seriously, I think these price tags have to be wrong." 

"Mini bagel pizzas. This is heaven, isn’t it? I died and God- uh, Thor’s dad or somebody felt sorry for me so they let me into heaven." 

June 2014
24

That awkward moment when your friend accidentally stumbles into one of your kinks, then you lose control of your face for a good 30 seconds, and you both just sort of don’t talk about it.

No actually when your friend stumbles into your top ‘I’d be chill if this happened to me’ kink. No DEFINITELY. Definitely the top. Oh noo.

June 2014
19
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I thought it was gonna be my ‘Wolf of Wall Street’ moment..

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